Sunday, October 23, 2005

Lottery

I really thought I was going to win Powerball last week. I went to a big effort to by tickets: I traveled to Charleston (GA is a MegaMillions state) and then I sought out the biggest hole in the wall to buy tickets, ending up at the Vegatable Bin, a tin hut next to the shore that didn't take credit cards. I could just picture the press conference in front of this place.

Throughout this process, Jill, Joel and myself (my traveling companions and co-workers) agreed that if we won, we would share and that we would be honest in our lottery speeches. We would not lie and say, "I might go on a great vacation, but I'm going to keep my factory job and my 1970 Pinto. It's not going to change my life." News flash: Winning $340MM is going to change your life--that's why so many of the lottery winners go bankrupt.

In reality, I would not give a speech, I would just disappear quietly to my own private island (and not go bankrupt). But if I did give a speech, this would be it:

I couldn't be happier that I won the idiot tax. I never play the lottery, so I'm especially happy that I didn't have to play the same numbers for 50 years, working to buy my tickets. Thanks Quick Pick, and thanks to all the people who increased the winning to $340MM. I'm grateful.

I plan to retire to my private island; never to be seen again. The private island will be an adult Neverland with whatever toys and food and drink an adult could want. There will be a short invite list.

To those in my inner circle, I plan to take care of you very well, inlcuding a private plane at your disposal to visit me on my island. To those outside my circle, don't bother trying to make friends with me. In general, I don't like people, and now that I have lots of money, I will probably only like human-kind less.

Thanks everyone!

6 Comments:

Blogger Emily Santiago said...

The old Carolina Circle Mall lives on -- at least in cyberspace
To everything there is a season, and a blog to every purpose under heaven ... But the loving new blog keeps the memories alive and sees life through the shops and promenades of what used to be one of the most pleasant places to shop in Greensboro.
Find out how to buy and sell anything, like things related to instant road repair on interest free credit and pay back whenever you want! Exchange FREE ads on any topic, like instant road repair!

10:49 AM  
Blogger Leah said...

I keep thinking that I'd make such a great lottery winner story, but NNOOOOO we keep getting beat out by the old people who,let's be honest don't have nearly enough time to spend or enjoy it!

11:12 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

So, what kind of plane?

5:55 AM  
Blogger Chlora said...

Just wanted to say great job, nice blog!

Amateurs

12:22 AM  
Blogger Editor said...

Wow that´s a great blog that you have there, mine is slightly differnent but it basically covers the same topics.

I have a ovarian cancer site. It pretty much covers Cancer related stuff.

Check it out, you won´t regret it... Cheers.. Roger From Http://www.havecancer.com

12:18 AM  
Blogger Esther said...

Bridget, all I want is some fruity drinks on the beach. And my credit cards paid off. Not even my student loans. I'm not greedy :)

7:44 PM  

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